How to Talk to Your Child About Starting Therapy
Introduction: A Gentle Conversation That Can Make a Big Difference
Starting therapy can be a big (and sometimes intimidating) step for kids. As a parent, you’ve already made the courageous and thoughtful decision to get your child some extra support—but now comes another important part: talking with your child about it. It’s normal to feel unsure about how to bring it up. What if they get scared? What if they ask something you don’t know how to answer?
The good news is: You’re not alone. In this post, we’ll walk you through how to talk with your child about therapy in a calm, honest, and empowering way. With the right approach, you can help them feel safe and even curious about this new experience.
Normalize Therapy: Make It Feel Safe and Familiar
Children often worry that going to therapy means something is “wrong” with them. Help them understand that therapy is just another way of getting support—just like going to the doctor when your tummy hurts or the eye doctor when your vision is fuzzy.
Try these kid-friendly ways to explain what therapy is:
“Therapy is like seeing a feelings doctor who helps you when you’re sad, mad, or worried.”
“Lots of kids talk to someone called a counselor. It’s their job to help kids feel better and solve tricky problems.”
“It’s not because you’re in trouble—it’s because we care about you and want things to feel easier.”
You can even point out examples in books or shows where characters see a helper or guide. Let them know that many kids go to therapy, and it’s nothing to be ashamed of.
If you're still learning about how therapy helps children, check out this helpful guide: Child Counseling in Castle Rock: How Therapy Helps Kids Thrive
Choose the Right Moment
Timing matters. Don’t bring it up when your child is already upset, in trouble, or distracted. Instead, pick a calm moment—maybe while drawing, going for a walk, or at bedtime.
Tailor the conversation to your child’s age and temperament. A 5-year-old may need very simple language, while a 10-year-old might appreciate more detail or the chance to ask lots of questions.
Use Simple, Reassuring Language
When you’re ready to bring it up, keep your language calm, brief, and clear. You want to strike a balance between being honest and keeping things from sounding too big or scary.
Here are a few scripts to try:
“We’re going to visit someone who helps kids with their feelings. They’ll have toys, games, and fun ways to help us figure out what’s been bothering you.”
“This person is really good at helping kids feel better when they’re sad, mad, or worried. You don’t have to go through this all alone.”
“It’s kind of like talking to a coach for your heart and mind—they’ll help us come up with a plan together.”
Reassure them that you’ll still be there, and that you’ll talk to the therapist too. Most importantly, let them know it’s okay to feel nervous or unsure.
Address Common Questions and Fears
Kids might not ask directly—but they often wonder things like:
“Am I in trouble?”
“Nope. You’re not in trouble at all. We’re going because we want things to feel better for you.”
“Will the therapist tell everyone what I say?”
“Your therapist keeps things private unless they’re worried about safety. That way, you can talk freely and feel safe.”
“What do we do in therapy?”
“You might play games, draw, talk, or even play with toys. It’s different than school, and your therapist will help make it feel comfortable.”
“Do I have to go forever?”
“We’ll go for a little while and see how it helps. It’s not forever—just a way to feel better one step at a time.”
Let them ask their own questions, and answer honestly while keeping a calm tone. If you don’t know an answer, say something like, “That’s a great question—we can ask your therapist together.”
If you're wondering whether your child is showing signs that they may need help, this article can give you more clarity: 5 Signs Your Child May Need Counseling (and What to Do Next)
Involve Them in the Process
The more included your child feels, the less scary therapy will seem. Let them make small choices to feel a sense of control:
Let them pick a comfort item to bring—a favorite stuffed animal or small toy.
Show them a picture of the therapist and office (many therapy websites include a photo of the therapist or room).
If you’ve already chosen a therapist like Hope Saunders, MFTC, you can show your child her photo and talk about her warm, friendly personality.
Let them help choose an outfit or what they want to do after their first session (like a special snack or trip to the park).
These small steps help therapy feel more predictable and less intimidating.
Remind Them It’s Okay to Feel All the Feelings
Children might feel excited, nervous, shy, or even confused about going to therapy—and that’s okay. Let your child know that whatever they feel is normal and accepted. You can say:
“It’s okay to feel nervous. Lots of kids feel that way when they start something new.”
“You might not want to talk right away, and that’s totally fine. The therapist will help you feel comfortable when you’re ready.”
“It’s brave to talk about feelings. I’m proud of you for trying this.”
Affirming their emotions helps them feel safe and understood from the very beginning.
Revisit the Conversation as Needed
You don’t have to get it all perfect in one talk. Some kids process slowly, and questions may pop up after the first session or even weeks later. Let them know they can always come to you with questions, worries, or thoughts about therapy.
Make it a series of gentle check-ins:
“How did it feel to meet your therapist?”
“Is there anything you want to ask me or talk about from the session?”
“Was there anything you liked or didn’t like?”
Being consistent and approachable reassures your child that therapy is a safe and ongoing part of their support system—not a one-time fix.
Model Openness Around Mental Health
Children take cues from the adults around them. If you speak about therapy in a calm, respectful way, your child will be more likely to feel positively about it too.
You can say things like:
“Everyone needs help sometimes. Grownups go to therapy too.”
“Talking about your feelings is a strong and healthy thing to do.”
“This is one way we take care of our brains and hearts, just like brushing our teeth takes care of our bodies.”
When you normalize mental health support at home, your child will grow up feeling less stigma and more empowerment around seeking help.
Conclusion: A Brave Step Toward Feeling Better
Starting therapy is a hopeful, empowering decision for your child—and for you. With your love, support, and patience, your child can begin this journey with curiosity instead of fear.
Talking openly about therapy is the first step in building trust, safety, and emotional growth. You don’t have to have all the perfect words—just your calm presence and willingness to listen can make all the difference.
If you’re still considering therapy for your child, we’re here to help. Reach out to South Denver Therapy’s child counseling team in Castle Rock to learn more or schedule a consultation. We’re here to support your family every step of the way.
