Discernment Counseling in Castle Rock, CO
When you're not sure if you should stay or go. Clarity for couples on the brink – without pressure to choose before you're ready.
Book a Free ConsultationMaybe you've been unhappy for years. Maybe there was an affair, or a slow drift apart that you can't seem to reverse. Maybe you're the one who's checked out, or maybe your partner has one foot out the door while you're desperately trying to hold things together.
Either way, you're stuck. Traditional couples therapy dosent feel right because you're not even sure you want to save the marriage. But you also don't want to make a decision this big without being certain. You need clarity – not pressure.
That's exactly what discernment counseling is for. It's a short-term process designed specifically for couples like you – couples where one or both partners are unsure about the future of the relationship. No agenda to stay together. No agenda to split up. Just a structured path to figuring out what's right for you.
What is Discernment Counseling?
A Different Kind of Couples Therapy
Discernment counseling was developed specifically for couples in crisis – when one partner is "leaning out" of the relationship and the other is "leaning in." It's not about fixing your marriage (at least not yet). It's about helping you decide, with clarity and confidence, which path forward is right for you.
The process is short and focused: typically just 1 to 5 sessions. By the end, you'll have the insight you need to make a decision you can live with – whether that's working on the marriage, separating, or continuing as you are while you figure things out.
The Three Possible Paths
Discernment counseling leads to one of three outcomes. There's no right or wrong choice – only what's right for you:
Stay the Course
Continue your relationship as it is for now. You may not be ready to commit to intensive couples work, but you're also not ready for divorce. That's okay.
Separate or Divorce
Move forward with ending the relationship. When you've gained clarity that the marriage can't or shouldn't continue, you can take that step with confidence.
Commit to Couples Therapy
Agree to 6 months of dedicated couples therapy, with divorce off the table during that time. Give your marriage a real chance with both partners fully engaged.
Is Discernment Counseling Right for You?
✓ Good Fit
- One partner is thinking about divorce, but no final decision has been made
- You have "mixed agendas" – one leaning in, one leaning out
- Traditional couples therapy hasn't worked or doesn't feel right
- You want clarity before making a life-changing decision
- You're both willing to participate (even if reluctantly)
- There's been an affair and you're unsure what comes next
✗ Not the Right Fit
- Both partners are committed to working on the marriage (try couples therapy instead)
- One partner has already made a firm decision to divorce
- There's active domestic violence or abuse
- One partner refuses to participate at all
- You're looking for ongoing therapy, not short-term decision-making support
Understanding "Leaning In" and "Leaning Out"
In most couples considering divorce, partners aren't in the same place emotionally. Understanding where each of you stands is part of what makes discernment counseling work.
Where Do You Each Stand?
The "Leaning Out" Partner
You're done, or almost done. You've tried, you've suffered, and you don't know if you have anything left to give. You may feel guilty, but you're not sure the marriage can – or should – be saved. Discernment counseling gives you space to explore your doubts without pressure.
The "Leaning In" Partner
You want to fight for the marriage. You may feel blindsided, desperate, or willing to do anything to make it work. Discernment counseling helps you understand what happened and what role you played – so whether you stay together or not, you move forward with insight.
How Discernment Counseling Sessions Work
Each session is structured to give both partners individual attention and time together. Unlike traditional therapy, you'll spend significant one-on-one time with the therapist exploring your own perspective.
A Typical Session Includes
Together Time
Start and end together. Check in, share updates, and discuss insights from individual portions.
Individual Time
Meet privately with Kayla to explore your own feelings, doubts, and questions without your partner present.
Your Partner's Turn
Your partner gets the same individual time to work through their perspective and concerns.
Sessions typically run 90 minutes to 2 hours to allow adequate time for this structure. The process usually takes 1 to 5 sessions total.
Discernment Counseling vs. Couples Therapy
Key Differences
What Happens After Discernment Counseling
Your Next Steps
Once you've completed discernment counseling and chosen your path:
- If you choose couples therapy: We can continue working together, transitioning into intensive couples work with divorce off the table for an agreed period (typically 6 months).
- If you choose separation: We can help you navigate the transition with as little damage as possible, especially if children are involved.
- If you choose to stay the course: You can return to discernment counseling later when you're ready to revisit the decision.
- If infidelity was involved: We offer specialized affair recovery therapy for couples who decide to work on rebuilding trust.
Learn about infidelity therapy →
Why Choose South Denver Therapy
Meet Kayla Crane
Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist (LMFT) • SART Certified • Relational Life Therapy TrainedKayla works exclusively with couples and specializes in helping relationships at critical crossroads. She's trained in Systematic Affair Recovery (SART) and Relational Life Therapy, giving her deep expertise in the most challenging relationship situations. Her approach is balanced and non-judgmental – she won't push you toward any outcome. Instead, she'll help you find the clarity you need to make the right decision for your life.
Learn more about KaylaAward-Winning Practice
Voted Best of the Best in Mental Health for Castle Rock in 2024 and 2025.
Couples Specialist
Kayla works exclusively with couples. Relationships are her entire focus.
Neutral & Balanced
No agenda to keep you together or split you up. Just honest guidance.
Specialized Training
SART certified for affair recovery and trained in Relational Life Therapy.
Frequently Asked Questions
What is discernment counseling?
Discernment counseling is a short-term therapy (typically 1-5 sessions) designed specifically for couples where one or both partners are considering divorce but haven't made a final decision. Unlike traditional couples therapy, the goal isn't to fix the relationship – it's to help you gain clarity and confidence about which path is right for you.
How is discernment counseling different from couples therapy?
Traditional couples therapy assumes both partners want to work on the relationship. Discernment counseling is designed for situations where that's not the case – where one partner is "leaning out" or ambivalent. It's shorter, more structured, and focused on decision-making rather than relationship repair.
How long does discernment counseling take?
Discernment counseling is intentionally brief – typically 1 to 5 sessions. Each session is longer than traditional therapy (usually 90 minutes to 2 hours) and includes time together as a couple plus individual time with each partner. The focused nature helps you reach clarity without dragging out the uncertainty.
What are the possible outcomes?
There are three possible paths: (1) Stay the course – continue as you are for now, (2) Separate or divorce, or (3) Commit to 6 months of couples therapy with divorce off the table during that time. The process helps you choose your path with clarity and confidence, whatever that path may be.
Is discernment counseling trying to save the marriage?
No. The therapist remains neutral about the outcome. The goal is to help both partners gain clarity about what they want and understand their contributions to the problems, so they can make a confident decision – whether that's reconciliation or divorce. There's no agenda to push you in either direction.
How much does discernment counseling cost?
Sessions are $215 for 60 minutes, with longer sessions available for discernment work. Many clients get reimbursed through out-of-network insurance benefits. Visit our FAQs page to learn how Mentaya can help you recover a significant portion of your costs.
You Deserve Clarity
You don't have to stay stuck in uncertainty. Whether you decide to stay or go, you deserve to make that choice with confidence. Take the first step.
Book a Free ConsultationOr call us at (720) 663-8046