How It Works

Take this free anxiety screening to see how your symptoms compare to common signs of anxiety. It only takes about 3 minutes, and you’ll get instant results—no email or signup required.

  1. Answer 7 Quick Questions

  2. See If Your Symptoms Match Anxiety

  3. Get Helpful Insights and Next Steps for Support

Pursuer Withdrawer Quiz: Which Role Do You Play? | Free Test - South Denver Therapy

The Relationship Dance Quiz

Discover Your Pattern: Pursuer or Withdrawer?

Understanding Your Relationship Dance

Every couple has a unique "dance" – a pattern of pursuing and withdrawing that shows up during conflict or stress. Understanding your role in this dance is the first step to creating healthier connection patterns.

This 3-minute assessment will help you discover whether you tend to be the pursuer (seeking closeness) or the withdrawer (needing space) in your relationship, and what this means for your connection.

🔒 Your Privacy Matters Your responses are completely confidential. We don't store your answers or share them with anyone. This quiz is designed to provide insight and support for your relationship journey.

📥 Free Guide: Breaking the Cycle

Download our comprehensive guide with communication scripts, de-escalation techniques, and exercises to create secure connection.

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What Your Results Mean

Your Next Steps

    Important Note: This quiz provides general insights based on common relationship patterns. It's not a diagnostic tool or substitute for professional therapy. If you're experiencing significant relationship distress, consider speaking with a qualified therapist.

    Frequently Asked Questions About Pursuer-Withdrawer Quiz

    What is a pursuer-withdrawer pattern?

    In distress, pursuers push for talk or answers; withdrawers shut down to reduce intensity. Both are attempts to feel safe, but together they create a chase-and-retreat loop.

    How can a pursuer create safety without chasing?

    Lead with feelings and one specific request: “I’m anxious; can we talk for 10 minutes about X at 7?” Slow your pace, share one need, and appreciate any engagement.

    How can a withdrawer stay present without freezing?

    Name your limit and offer structure: “I’m flooded. I can do 10 minutes after I reset.” During the talk, reflect one point you heard before offering your view.

    How do we break the cycle together?

    Agree on signals for flooding, time-outs with a return time, and short, focused talks. Celebrate small repairs to reinforce safety for both roles.