How do we know if we are ready to try an open relationship or if we should wait?

Start by taking the free Open Relationship Readiness Quiz above. You are closer to ready if you repair conflict fairly well, keep agreements, and can manage jealousy without spying or stonewalling. If you are hoping openness will fix chronic problems, press pause and build the basics first. Example: If phone privacy and trust fights pop up weekly, build a daily 10 minute check in and a clear repair routine for a month, then retake the quiz.

Is an open relationship the same as polyamory?

They are related but not identical. Open relationship is a broad term that can include casual dating or sexual openness. Polyamory usually means the possibility of multiple loving relationships. Your agreements should reflect which model you want and what fits your values.

What if one partner wants openness and the other is unsure?

Move at the pace of the less eager partner. Explore values, motives, and fears in therapy or through structured conversations before making changes. Do not pressure or set deadlines. Connection and consent should guide the timeline.

How do we create a simple open relationship agreement?

Keep it to one page with four sections: time boundaries, safer sex plan, disclosure norms, and check in schedule. Pilot it for two to four weeks, then review and adjust together. Clarity reduces misunderstandings and protects trust.

How It Works

Take this free quiz to reflect on whether an open relationship fits your life right now. No email or signup required.

Answer 20 Quick Questions
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Open Relationship Readiness Quiz

20 quick questions to help you reflect on communication, trust, jealousy skills, motives, and logistics. Educational only, not a diagnosis. Use results as a starting point for a thoughtful conversation.

Rate each 1 to 5 (1 = Strongly Disagree, 5 = Strongly Agree)

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Question 1 of 20

Frequently Asked Questions About Open Relationships

What exactly is an open relationship?

An open relationship is a consensual agreement where partners allow romantic or sexual connections outside the primary relationship. The key is informed consent and clear boundaries.

Example: “We can flirt and go on dates, but we only have sex with others after we talk about it and both say yes.”

How do we handle jealousy without it blowing up our relationship?

Treat jealousy like a signal, not a verdict. Name what you feel, ask for a specific reassurance, and agree on a calming plan before anything happens.

Example: “When you go on a date, please send a check-in text before you head home. I’ll do a 10 minute journal and a shower to reset, then we’ll debrief tomorrow over coffee.”

What boundaries do most couples set when they open up?

Common boundaries cover time, safer sex, disclosure, and privacy. Keep them simple, specific, and revisitable.

Example: “No overnights for the first 60 days, condoms and recent STI tests with any new partner, a heads-up text before dates, and no bringing dates to our home.”

How do we know if we are ready to try this or if we should wait?

Start by taking the free Open Relationship Readiness Quiz above—it gives you a quick, honest read on your strengths and growth areas. You’re closer to ready if you repair conflict fairly well, keep agreements, and can manage jealousy without spying or stonewalling. If you’re hoping openness will fix chronic problems, press pause and build the basics first.

Example: If phone privacy and trust fights pop up weekly, work on a 10-minute daily check-in and a clear repair routine for a month. Then retake the quiz and see if your readiness tier improves.